


Let's Never Meet Again

by Impalapossible



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reader-Insert, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impalapossible/pseuds/Impalapossible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader decides to leave the bunker after something happens between them and Sam. Sometimes it’s better to break things off early before you have the potential to hurt someone worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Never Meet Again

“What do you mean you are leaving? Where the hell are you going to go?” Sam demanded chasing you down the stairs and corridors of the bunker. Tears burned in the corners of your eyes while your feet desperately tried to keep you steps ahead of the ever advancing man. You needed to get to your room. To get away. Away from the bunker. From the hunting life and especially away from Sam Winchester. Far enough away to save him from you. 

The two of you met a little over a year ago when Sam ran into you on a hunt. You were fighting off a few demons and he showed up as you were smashed into a wall. He saved you then and invited you to the bunker where he bandaged you up. You gave him very little information about yourself. Your walls were up high. After you healed, you tried to drive off but Sam kept your keys hidden. He noticed the number of bottles accumulating in the room he and his brother allowed you to sleep in. He saw the scars on your arm. You knew he had because he paused as he reapplied a bandage and gave you a sympathetic and knowing look. He didn’t have to talk about either. He was too kind to push, but he knew you were damaged. Yet, he still remained kind to you. Friendly, concerned, and far better than you deserved. 

You couldn’t count the times you thought to yourself that if he only knew the real you, what you had done. He should have thrown you out and forgotten about you.

But Sam Winchester persisted in breaking down your walls. A million little ways. He lit up whenever you were in the room. He spent hours helping you with your Latin and learning sigils. Rarely would he go on a hunt without you and each hunt, each night spent in those dusty motel rooms and on long stretches of road, he would swap stories with you. He made it easy to forget yourself and get lost in the moment. Almost. 

You were still damaged. Your body, your mind, and your soul. You clung to your broken self. You needed it. That kept you hunting. If you forgot how you ended up where you were, than everyone you lost would disappear. You didn’t feel you deserved to be healed. To be whole. Even when Sam almost brought you to the closest feeling of wholeness, you pushed him away. Until last night.

 

This hunt was rough. Six vamps and two hunters, the odds were against the both of you. You weren’t sure how you managed it, but after a fierce fight you and Sam managed to get out relatively unscathed. 

Sam rushed to you after cutting off the last vamp head, pulling you into his strong arms. The two of you held one another for a moment before parting. The two of you continued to stare intently at one another before something took over you. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was a years worth of pent up desire, but you thrusting your arms around Sam’s neck and pulled him close, pressing your lips against his. Sam acted in sync with you. Lips and tongues dancing. A small moan escaped your lips while Sam began tracing your neck with his lips. You let yourself drown in the moment, but then you caught a glimpse of one of the scars on your arm. 

‘No…this needs to stop. Sam needs to get away from me.’ You pushed him away from you. Confusion replaced the lust in his eyes and he reached out to touch your face, but you pushed his hand away. 

“Let’s go. I am tired.”

“What?”

You didn’t respond making your way towards the impala. Sam slowly followed behind. The rest of the drive remaining quiet until you told him you were leaving just as he turned the car off. 

 

“You’ve got to talk to me Y/N. I don’t understand where this is all coming from. One minute you’re kissing me and we are hunting and then you give me this silent treatment all the way home before telling me you are leaving. Y/N, please. Please talk to me.” He reached out and grabbed your wrist, twirling you around to face him. His features were downcast. His brow furrowed and the hint of tears beginning to form in his own eyes from his desperation. It hurt to see the pain you were causing him, but it would hurt worse if you stayed. 

You couldn’t tell him you were terrified of what was happening. You couldn’t admit to him what that kiss ignited in you. It’s been years since you last let someone get so close to you and that ended in the tragedy that sent you spiraling into hunting and a depression which you never really escaped from. Sure, you could put on a smile and an act, but you were broken. A hazard to those around you. And Sam. Sweet Sam Winchester, he deserved better than what you could give him. 

“Sam, I need to leave. I can’t stay here any longer.” 

Sam pleaded softly, lips slightly trembling, words barely above a whisper, “Please don’t. Why do you want to leave Y/N?” 

You slowly pulled his hand off your wrist. “Sam, I can’t stay here. I can’t hurt you. I can’t let my damage break you too. I have to protect you from me.” You turned your back towards him as the tears streaked your face. You heard the sob Sam was trying to hold back, but you had to ignore it. You couldn’t turn around and see him like that and have a change of heart. 

You were grateful you had very few worldly possessions. Packing only took you a few minutes. Slinging your bag over your shoulder you took a moment to look back at the room you were staying in. Memories of Sam spending endless nights sitting on the edge of the bed making sure you slept flooded your mind. Your eyes rested on the picture of you and Sam that remained on top of the dresser. You didn’t have the heart to take it with you. Let it be a forgotten memory. 

You took your time heading leaving. You drank in every crack and brick along the bunker walls. When you reached the main room you saw Sam sitting at the bottom of the stairs, his head in his hands. You took a step towards him and he looked up. His eyes were red and puffy. He looked so broken. 

“Y/N, please don’t leave. We never have to talk about what happened. We don’t have to talk about anything. Or be friends. Or anything but hunters working together. I won’t bother you. I…just…please.” 

You shook your head. “I’m sorry Sam. I can’t and I won’t hurt you anymore.”

“But you’re not…” He bit his lip, running his fingers through his long brunette hair trying to search for the words to say. “You are hurting me by leaving.” 

“I know, but this hurts less now than it would later. Goodbye Sam. Let’s never meet again.” You moved towards the stairs, patting Sam’s shoulder one last time, before making your ascent never to return again.


End file.
